I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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