I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
