omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
drinking out of a sandbucket again
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
