she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
