Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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