dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
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Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
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YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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