Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
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I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
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You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
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