I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
