If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
