well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
