Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize