everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
