I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
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She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
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I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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