ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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