Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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