i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
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He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
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Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You are a genius and a whore.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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