What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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