No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
