she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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