I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
