Farmville is her only friend.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
