Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
