Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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