So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
