Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
