Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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