and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
