I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
