If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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