I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize