I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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