we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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