She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
