nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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