i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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