your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
