Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Randomize
