why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
