Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
