I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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