i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
