Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We need to get me chipped asap
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
