Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
