last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize