Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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