I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
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I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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