im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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