You're my little dorito
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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