i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
