I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
