wat bout pragnant strippers??
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
