new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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