I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
