Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Randomize
