Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
