so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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