is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
