I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
