just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
