So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just want to make out with him forever
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
