it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
