Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Randomize
