it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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