this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize